Wednesday, 19 May 2010

My own personal emotional rollercoaster...

Dear lord what a day I’ve had! The highs! The lows! The middle bits!! Seriously, I’ve had such a crazy spectrum of emotions today - I’m exhausted! I woke this morning to the sounds of Jo getting up to see Mike Leigh speak at the British Pavilion - I think she took one look at me and wrote me off completely - I wasn’t human this morning. Messy doesn’t even cover it. Unfortunately, it was at this time that disaster struck. Our hotel room needs the key to close the door properly (I know, weird huh? Europeans.) so Jo chirpily said ‘Don’t forget to lock the door behind me as I leave’ before prancing disgustingly cheerfully out the door. I, of course, mumbled something, snorted and turned over.


I’m lucky I wasn’t killed in my sleep! To be honest, the way I felt when I woke up made me wish that I had been (wine + champagne x 20 over 8 hours = uuuuurrrrrrggggg……)

But the worst part is that it appears that while I was blissfully snoozing away, someone CAME INTO OUR APARTMENT AND STOLE MY IPHONE!!!! And the charger - these thieves are no fools!


So many contacts. Phone numbers. Emails. Gone.

I could cry. I really could.

So now I’m incontactable. In Cannes.

This. Is. A. Disaster.

I managed to scrap myself together in order to go to my lunch meeting with a friend from PR agency DDA at Long Beach Restaurant and then on to the British Pavilion to see our BFI contact as I knew he would have been trying to get in touch with me. He’s so lovely. Turns out I had even more reason to love him - he’d managed to score me a ticket to one of the hottest premieres of the festival!! The much coveted, much feted Stephen Frears production of Tamara Drewe, starring the actress of 2010 Gemma Arterton!! It was like a drug deal. He palmed me something and told me slyly to slip it into my bag. Then I ruined the coolness of the moment by hugging him (he's 6 foot 7 - I'm 5 foot 4. It was an awkward moment).

Then, I panicked. It started in an hour and a half and I wasn’t dressed for a premiere!!! I only had the vintage dress we’d bought in our ‘perfect Cannes outfit for under £50’!! I said a breathless goodbye (and thank you - my mamma raised me polite) to Nick and rushed off into the setting sun, hustling down La Croisette desperate to find a cab, get back to the apartment and jzoosh myself appropriately for my red carpet appearance and be back, striding down that red carpet, all withing an hour!

Yeah, that didn’t really work.

Picture me running (ok, it was more of a totter - I was in my Kurt Geiger heels!) down the main stretch of Cannes, madly waving at every moving vehicle and swearing violently under my breath at each one that didn’t stop. For 35 minutes. I finally had to admit defeat. I wasn’t going to be able to get home, wasn’t going to be able to change, wasn't going to be  able to glam myself appropriately. And I was, in fact, sweatier and less attractive than I was when I set out from the British Pavilion over 40 minutes ago. Bloody marvellous.

I took stock. I had my £12 light blue silk vintage dress and a pencil of black eyeliner. I inhaled a deep breath and strode off in search of a bathroom.

I battled, I cursed, I sprayed water in my hair and let it dry upside down. I stroked, and smudged, and smeared.

I looked like a mad woman. A woman possessed. Other women coming and going in the bathroom looked on with equal measures of amusement and distaste. I was the woman I never wanted to be. The bathroom jzoosher.

But a fearful 15 minutes later I strode out, transformed (relatively speaking). I was ready.

And guess what?? I actually got papped by more cameras than when I was in my full evening gown two nights ago! I got asked where my dress was from (I lied through my teeth of course - ‘oh, this old thing? Hmmm….I think I got this positively years ago at Dior…or was it Givenchy? I can’t possibly remember my dears!’)

…..course, they might just have papped me for the ‘Worst Dressed’ photo montage in OK Magazine…..

Regardless, I was there. I strode down the red carpet fearlessly, head held high with an smile plastered on my face that hinted toward lunacy (I hope I pulled off eccentricity instead - much more glam).

Keep tuned to You Tube (yes we will get something new posted on there! I’m on a mission today) for my review of T.D. as well as a few other amusing bits and bobs we’ve managed to film over out crazy, mad week here in Cannes!

I can’t believe we’re going home tomorrow. I might cry.

Lots of love, panicked bathroom moments, red carpet victories and flashes of paparazzi photographers,


Wednesday, 24 March 2010

A Lesson to the People

THIS IS HOW YOU EARN MY LOVE!!!! Mr F - if I am ever relegated the task of being the next Noah you are TOTALLY on my ark.

PS I had intended to take the photo before eating it but it had CREAM CHEESE FROSTING!! I defy you to have resisted in my position.
PPS The white thing perched precariously on top is the remains (literally!) of a teeny icing skeleton. Halloween may have been 5 months ago but Mr F refuses to let it die, bless him!!

Thursday, 11 February 2010

Alexander McQueen - the Death of a Legend.

The couture world will be in shock as news breaks that Alexander McQueen, a staple to the contingent of quirky and original British fashion, is found dead in his home (roughly half an hour ago).

Always original, independent and fresh, McQueen's creations will certainly be missed but I suspect only half as much as the man himself.

He leaves behind him a legacy of beauty balanced with strength, originality and forceful design.

There is unlikely to be a fashion talent quite like him, not in this generation, nor in the next.


Rest in peace Mr McQueen, 'Les Enfant Terrible' of the fashion world.

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Sarah Palin - The Mind Boggles

Sarah Palin, I always knew you were an idiot but I didn't think you were THAT special. As a public service to mankind, mammals, reptiles, primates, arachnids, crustacea, mollusks, heck, to all vertibrates, invertibrates and inanimate objects - please, please go live in a cave in Alaska. Do NOT appear on television, give any more interviews to newspapers or even blog/twitter - you clearly have no grip on reality and even less of an understanding of politics. Just go away. You make my eyes and ears bleed.

Ahhhhhh......purge over. I feel clean again.


Friday, 5 February 2010

What a difference a day makes....

Well blog-ites, may I just say THANK GOD!!! The dark clouds over my head have seemingly sailed over the horizon, taking with them the desire to stab myself in the eye repeatedly with a rusted fork. Huzzah.

And not a moment too soon. January sought to crush my soul beneath its inexorably boot of hardcore full time work followed by a hectic audition/filming schedule, parental visits, boozy shennanigans and general floozy behaviour inherent to/in reaction of the above. But today I feel I've turned a corner. Maybe it's the cautious re-emergence of sunshine into the rain-washed London streets. Maybe it's the fact that it hit TEN DEGREES CELSIUS today!! Or maybe it's just that it's Friday and the weekend stretches before me like a beautiful dream of free time. You see, my filming for this weekend has been rescheduled!!! That means....*gasp*....FREE TIME?!?!?! THAT MEANS SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TIME TO READ WITH CUPS OF TEA IN BED!!!! AND YOGA AND HAIRCUTS AND PUB DRINKS WITH FRIENDS TO WATCH THE ENGLAND/WALES GAME (a tricky line to walk - friends on both sides)!!!!!!

I think some things are best demonstrated by pictures of animals. Please see below for details.

Aaaaaaaahhhhh.......Fridays. Smell that?? It's the taste of freedom.



Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Paper Heart Cut-Outs - Zoe Bradley, the New Queen of Origami

I stumbled across this picture in my daily meanderings in the fabulous world of the internets and was so floored by what I saw that I immediately got on my google pony and found out as much a I could about the creator of these pieces of fabulousness - Zoe Bradley.

Lately of Alexander McQueen, she has been working her magic on an impressively global scale having done shop fronts for everyone from Harvey Nichols in London to Missoni in Milan to Lane Crawford in Hong Kong - the girl gets around! But her globetrotting is well warranted when one casts an eye over her spectacular pieces, as beautiful for their intricacy and detail as for their gorgeously structural silhouettes.

Here's some more eyecandy for you!

I love the 1950's Dior influences in these two - just gorgeous!!...

And finally, my Cinderella wedding dress

In short, I want them all...erm....minus the papercuts!!


Friday, 29 January 2010

(Wolf) Whistles for Roksanda Illincic

Roksanda my dearest, my love, my muse - you have picked up your game remarkably! The flowerly adjectives escape me at present but if I had more than two brain cells to rub together on this Friday afternoon (don't get me started on my week!! 7 AUDITIONS + FULL TIME WORK + PARENTS FLYING INTO TOWN = exhausted Miss M with a bad back from sleeping on the ricketty fold out sofa) I would wax lyrical about this collection. True flashes of inspiration with flashes of a revolution against Spring/Summer lightweight materials and detailing - her embellishments are large, geometric and ultimately almost hypnotic, but not at one moment are they too heavy for this collection. And with names like celadine and milkweed - what's not to love?!

My two favourites: